challenged

Happy Birthday Benedict! :)
Thanks for being a blessing!



Ok, promised to blog about the House Party and what I learnt there. :) Here goes!

House Party in Wales was awesome; I think God taught me alot of things, through people and situations. I can honestly say that I'm a different person now; alot more confident in approaching new people and talking to them. 2 mths ago, that would have been impossible; I was shy as a mouse and only spoke up upon being spoken to, especially in group settings. I still rmb feeling shy and awkward during Alpha when we had to mingle with all the new friends; and just wanting to stick to Xinxin or hide in the kitchen. So pathetic right!! And yea realised that alot of it had to do with my fears- fear of being rejected by others; fear that they wouldn't like me; that I was embarrassing myself; that I had nothing to say etc...

And I really have to thank God for ppl like my sister, who's been there with me on this journey of growth and self-discovery, every single step of the way. Love you Cheh; thanks for the tough advice and talking sense into me even when it hurts. I do need prodding in the right direction at times. :) And thanks for rejoicing with me in such little victories too!!

Also for Aidan, en route to Wales I just casually asked him how he made friends so easily (in this respect, he kinda reminds me of Thong.. lol) and he shared with me 'his story', how it didn't come easily to him as well. It was God's moulding thru painful experiences + lotsa practice + trying to love people the way God loves them that honed his social skills. And he told me I had it too! That both encouraged and challenged me- to rise up above my fears and approach new people throughout the weekend away.

Twas good!! :) :) :) I really enjoyed myself! And discovered that it wasn't so scary after all, that people open up to you once you're honest and smiley. :) Praise the Lord. I like this new side of myself; thank you Lord for teaching me. And little comments from friends helped too; like how Samara told me, "You were really good at lunch today". Simple things like tt really encourage. :)

Last night we had bible study and we discussed our response when our non-Christian friends indicated they were interested in Christianity. Aidan was saying how we should be prepared cos we may never know when the opportunity comes; it may be when we go back to e corridors in our blocks. And this morning it happened! My law friend was sharing her problems with me and I managed to direct the conversation to the bigger things in life, like "What do you think your purpose in life is?" and how she seemed to be looking for something but not knowing what it was. Then after that I told her about how God loves us and wants the best for us and she told me she used to be a Christian but stopped believing in God. Because she was disappointed in Him and the behaviour of other Christians.

And then it was seminar time! ARGH. Afterthat we were too sleepy and exhausted; I was having a major headache, (still am) so didnt press to continue the conversation even tho I wanted to. Still, I did not and still do not know what to say to her. What would you say to someone who is disillutioned with God due to past experiences? And as I talked to her, I could relate to alot of her feelings- I'd been in similar situations b4 and it's horrible as it is. Even worst still to be without hope in a loving God! I don't feel properly equipped... I want to do more than listen to other people's problems, but it's hard!