Knowing You

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now compared to this

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing
You're my all, You're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love You Lord

Now my heart's desire is to know You more
To be found in You and know as Yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh to know the power of Your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like You in Your death, my Lord
So with You to live and never die



This is my prayer...

reading up

Reading up on student safety in the UK now- Am quite scared that I'll get mugged or robbed. Gotta be vigilant!! There's this cool website called Immobilise where students can register all their valuables so that the it's easier for police to track them down.

Bought lotsa stuff to bring over with Mummy yesterday- which was fun. :) I'm beginning to feel independent already. Hahaha.. Only have 20kg luggage allowance, so will probably have to send boxes via Singpost. Yups, met Thong after that for dinner, listened to all his funny army stories and got him all excited about going overseas to study too. =D It'll be a White Christmas, a winter wonderland come december! Wowee! It's no harm finding out more, talking to people, reading up and widening one's perspective. Afterall, I was deadset on studying locally when I was still in JC.


Okie gonna start packing TODAY! =))

family goes to church

Am now creating a photo-sharing account at Shutterfly, in case my laptop crashes or something and all my precious pics are gone! Haha.. =D Will give u guys the website soon. I'm not sure whether I should post up the embarrassing pics though.. Need to practice some discretion. Hehee.. :)

Dazz blogged about how she visited my church on Sunday- Go check it out! hahaha..
Anyway, I'm was overjoyed when my family went down to my church, Brighton Community on Sunday. :) I was quite nervous that my parents would find the worship too loud and charismatic, and be put-off, but somehow- the songs we sung had a few traditional ones as well; Shout to the North being one of them! Praise the Lord! Haha yay my family really enjoyed the praise and worship. Dazz says the band is happening!! All right! Hahaha.. It's really interesting to see your church through the eyes of your family members; it sure gave me a fresh perspective of Brighton and made me love it more. :) Daddy says it's very young and vibrant and that he likes the pastor, who's a good man. Haha.. And all agreed that they liked how people were able to respond to the message by going down to the altar, as a symbolic act of worship and surrender to God and receive as the leaders prayed for them. Very personal.. :) I remember that was something that I really appreciated at the beginning, being able to stand there in His presence and be ministered to as someone prayed for me. Then I started taking it for granted as time passed and I grew more comfortable in the church. Yup so I'm glad for the timely reminder... and I will be grateful for the days I spend in the house of the Lord. =)

Also very happy how I'm able to share with them what I love about my church- the engaging worship, the solid word, the ministry time after service and most of all the family of God- the people who have been so warm and accepting of me. :) Had a great time introducing my family members to them!Hahaha.. and I think Mummy, Daddy and Dazz felt the love too. Ahaha :)) Pity Kor wasn't there and Cheh and Mark in Australia or else all of us would have been present that sUnday morning. All the same, I give thanks. :)

Had CG at my place after service too, the first time in years... =D Chinhao kept saying how much he liked my place!! Hahaha too bad I'm leaving.. I really miss having cell at home.. friends filling the place with laughter, songs and prayer. And I think my parents do too; they kept asking my CG to stay for dinner and even asked me to invite them for a BBQ before I leave for England! Ahahaa! :)


Blessed to be a blessing.

Love, Carol

relieved

Yay I'm so happy.. Fixed my iPod today morning! Love it love it love it!!!! All by myself too, although credit has to be given to Huixian, Chinhao and my bro who tried to help. =D Finally... Music when I travel! Thank you Lord! And Cheh sent me a DVD of 1000 songs too! Hooray! Thanks Cheh! :)

Everything's more or less settling down- received an email from Notts today, confirming that my room in Sherwood Hall is secure. Phew... :) Met Grace Khoh today, who's going to Bristol... She's so excited about leaving! Hahaha.. I think she won't wanna return to Singapore after the 3 years.. Had fun catching up, talking about our plans in the UK and checking out winter wear, which is so pathetic.. Will probably get the cheapo red fleece jacket from Cold Wear and get the rest in Notts.

Still haven't started packing yet- Bare rooms make me sad. I want to bring as many things that remind me of home and loved ones as possible.

Leaving exactly 2 weeks from today... Singapore will be a distant land in no time.

Farewell my friends,
Carol

prep work

Finally collected my UK Visa yesterday- for $295, it'd better be nice!!!
Met Grace and Jiachuan there at the Visa Application Centre! Hahaha... nice surprise=) shall bunk in with them should I travel to London. They've both started packing already! Argh!! And my suitcase is still enclosed in its Isetan wrapper.

Oh well, have to go for my medical checkup and get the meningitis jab today I think.. Good thing I asked grace and jc or else I wouldn't bother...

Read Tales of the Kingdom this morning, and some book on relationships from Cheh last night. I love Tales of the Kingdom!!!!!! =)) To the King!

joyful

My last few entries have been largely depressing. =s

Yesterday I still had my long face on, felt very down.. And then I remember reading a few Bible verses hung on my window. Philippians 4:6-7. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". And so I prayed for His peace.. =) and sung the song "Everytime I Pray" repeatedly throughout the day. Felt my spirits lift considerably after that. Haha.. =)

Looking back, I'm glad the sinking revelation about leaving so soon finally hit me on Monday night in Li Kai's car. Thanks for listening dude! The next morning, I took a long walk in my garden like how I used to do before and marvelled at His creation- the soft rays of the morning sun falling on the stony walls, the scent of my favourite jasmine plant opposite my room and at the growth of the many many fruit trees Daddy planted.. Saw Daddy up reading his newspapers, Mum doing her morning stretches and Kor getting ready for work. Hehh.. Later i played with Itchy, the neighbour's cat. Love the way she flops to the ground whenever she sees me and starts rolling about on her stomach- another attention craver!! Super cute.. hahaha. I will miss the morning routine, its familiarity... Yet I now can better appreciate the little things in life that make me happy and I'm thankful for it. =)

Anyway just wanna say a big thank you to the people who cheered me up yesterday! Hahaha.. To the overseas buddies, you guys rock!!! Grace- who wrote to me from Hawaii and called me up to chat from New York last night!! So touched.. =) Sarah in Adelaide- who totally understands my pre-departure blues and is so kind about it.. Cheh for always thinking of me in Australia and arranging to chat with me later today just after I told Mum I missed her!!

And to the people in sunny Singapore... Hazel for promising to write letters to me and acceding to my weird request to go to Pasir Ris Park to climb the spiderweb!! Hahaha.. The VJC clique of course, with whom I always feel free to be myself, quirks and all.. Hehee thanks for wanting to spend more time with me and buying stuff for me to bring to the UK!!! =D Wei, I want to go to CBC again and explore Changi Village. May-chelle for always reminding me of my roots with her "hey gao jing!" and allowing me to manifest my bimbo side with her. Haha you have it too Michelle!! Plan our baking outing soon! Dazz for immediately thinking of me and going into my room to offer me chocolate once she opened it.. Haha thanks xiao mei, jiayou for your promos!! =) Kenneth for the yummy buffet lunch treat. Ephraim and Xin for organising the Sentosa outing for me!! Whee...

Yup so praise the Lord, for His bountiful blessings! =) Praise the Lord, oh my soul.


Love, Carol

leaving on a jetplane

Hi all, for those who wanna send me off at Changi Airport,

my flight is on the 18th of September, Monday night.. 10.55pm. So probably come at about 8 plus? Don't make me cry ok? Hahaha...

"Why so downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Saviour and my God".
-Psalm 42:5

Realised that I've been feeling the way David the Psalmist did, very pensive and restless these days.. Last night was the first time I honestly voiced out how I really felt about going overseas.. It felt strange, yet at the same time there was some kind of release. And there's just so many mixed feelings that are just swirling about, bogging me down; fear being the foremost one. I don't really dare to face them. I'm just running away for now; don't wanna think about it. But somehow I know that sooner or later I will have to sort them out one by one and surrender them all to God. Just pray for me. Prayer does make a difference! I do so wanna be free, assured and light-hearted when I leave.

Finally finished reading C.S Lewis' "Mere Christianity"... Solid stuff! I think it's a book that I'll re-read over and over again. Sometimes I'm ashamed that I take weeks and months (at times) to read Christian literature, while in comparison, I take days to finish fiction books.

everytime i pray

I just love the chorus of this song..

Everytime I Pray

I will come to You in prayer
I will seek Your face
I will stand within the gap
There will I intercede

For everytime I pray
I move the hand of God
My prayer does the things
My hands cannot do
For everytime I pray
The mountains are removed
The paths are made straight
And nations turn to You

I am weak and helpless Lord
You, my strength shall be
Guide me with Your gracious hand
There will my victory be

everytime i pray

I just love the chorus of this song..

Everytime I Pray

I will come to You in prayer
I will seek Your face
I will stand within the gap
There will I intercede

For everytime I pray
I move the hand of God
My prayer does the things
My hands cannot do
For everytime I pray
The mountains are removed
The paths are made straight
And nations turn to You

I am weak and helpless Lord
You, my strength shall be
Guide me with Your gracious hand
There will my victory be

the reappearance of tat

Us outside the Bugis Fountain. =D

















Dom making his quick getaway from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. Hahahahaaa

















As promised, I hereby present.... Thong, darker, fitter, broader, more fashion-conscious, back from his Taiwan training!! Heh
















Heeheeeheee...


So sue me!

poetry

"Bright College Days"

Bright college days,oh, carefree days that fly,
To thee we sing with our glasses raised on high. [holds up eyeglasses]
Let's drink a toast as each of us recalls
Ivy-covered professors in ivy-covered halls.

Turn on the spigot,
Pour the beer and swig it,
And gaudeamus igit-itur.

Here's to parties we tossed,
To the games that we lost (We shall claim that we won them someday).
To the girls, young and sweet,
To the spacious back seat Of our roommate's beat up Chevrolet.
To the beer and Benzedrine,
To the way that the dean Tried so hard to be pals with us all.
To excuses we fibbed,
To the papers we cribbed
From the genius who lived down the hall.

To the tables down at Mory's (Wherever that may be),
Let us drink a toast to all we love the best.
We will sleep through all the lectures,
And cheat on the exams,
And we'll pass, and be forgotten with the rest.

Oh, soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
(Oooh!) (laughter) ... Ready? ...
But as we go our sordid separate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee,
thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.

-- Tom Lehrer


This poem reminds me of all the high school/college films I used to watch during Lit and English class. =) Dead Poet's Society! My all-time favourite show... Ah the heady, impulsive days of youth, dreaming, passion and rebellion; of young men trying to find their place under the sun and learning "Carpe Diem" along the way. And then there's the Brit films that Mr Harris used to show us during Lit lectures, can't remember what they're called now. Just remember feeling a great rush of thrill and anticipation about the whole college experience- of bicyling down cobbled streets, hair flying in the wind; of driving down to the countryside during long and lazy afternoons; of engaging in witty and intellectual conversations with peers... And most importantly perhaps, feeling free and eager to explore who you are, the vast world we live in and the God who created it all.

Haha and when I got home, I remember excitedly telling Cheh I wanted to study overseas! Hahaha... Sometimes I wonder if I'm too idealistic.. Anyway, the rest was history, albeit with some hiccups along the way. Well, I thank God for answering my heart's desire! =) He is a good and loving Father and He will continue to lead and guide me, even when I'm far away from home.

Found this passage especially reassuring..
"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your Presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast".

-Psalm 139:7-10


Love you all, Carol

busy bee

Spoke to my mum last night and through her, I realised I've been spending all my weekends with the Brighton people! James too, since he started joining us a few weeks ago. Haha I think that's a good thing, although she's quite unhappy that I only come home late at night. Friday had cell at NUS, Sat had Alpha and guess where we went after that??? Night Safari!!! Wahaha... Sunday had service and Hui Xian's "surprise" birthday partay at James' place in Chua Chu Kang. So yup, been travelling out of the East quite a bit. =)

I think my blog's morphing into a picture journal.. will post up the pics soon!

NTU sleepover pics:)

This is what Hui and I did to amuse ourselves during our NTU sleepover. With the help of Fionne's Macbook. Enjoy! =)
















Sleepy and contented Hui















Failed attempt at a Bangra pose















Our scary Sadako pics! Heee
















Hypnotised by spooky hands coming from the window!


Hahaha so bo liao right?


Love lots, Carol

melancholic

Staying over at wei and fio's NTU hostel was fun... I like their room so much! Fionne did a really good job beautifying it.. =) thanks for letting me sleep on your bed Fionne! Hahaha.. I want my room to be nice and pretty too! haha according to them, Hui and I can be legal squatters for $20 a month! Not a bad deal huh.. Invite Hui and I again and we'll bring a house-warming gift! ;) Wei also introduced us to her OG mates who were nice; think it's great that she's found a group of friends so quickly! I would never want to go to NTU though; super ulu la! So much walking! Am still glad I went for the 'experience' with them though; it made the whole experience of moving out and having your own space more real.. and I also got a first taste of Uni life, taking in the sights and smells, the eager anticipation of young people ready to spread their wings- at once both exciting and frightening. I think I would like hall life- the blissful independence that comes with it. Right now, I wish I'd be UK bound sooner. Not that I'm raring to go, I just want to get away..

dread

Ok I think I'll get hell when mum returns from Thailand tonight... Haven't settled my accomodation acceptance or visa.. Bleah! Head is so heavy! Nose is so stuffy! How to go out today?? Sorry if I'm gonna blow off lotsa people.. I just want to sleep sleep sleep. =(

Some pictures taken on sat for cheering up.

Gallivanting in town after Alpha. From left: Eph, James, Me, Huixian, XinXin and Eugene.

Playing the piano makes me happy.

short entry

Hui, Fionne, Me at ECP during National Day 06.

4 of us at last year's outdoor Romeo and Juliet play.. The one with lotsa mosquitoes! =) oh yeah I had a fringe back then! Ack...

Bought my webcam and thumbdrive today!! Finally... =) Went with James Pang, Chin Hao and Ephraim... Good to go with guys to Sim Lim cos they do all the thinking and make all the decisions for u.. Hehh so I was satisfied to be a bimbo just for today. Hee.. Will try experimenting with the web-cam soon! Haha my new toy.. I wanna get an MP3 player next!

Past few days have been super tiring, I think I'm gonna fall sick. The symptoms are already here, headache and stuffy nose! =( Gonna have sleepover tmr at NTU at wei and fio's hostel... heh hehh hope it'll be fun but not exhausting! I'm so pooped.. Will post up more pics soon.. hehe

Love, carol

happy national day

It's a sleepy friday morning and i've a headache.. very bad, i've been going back to sleep after breakfast almost every day!

Anyway, catching up with the VJC gang was fun! As usual, hui and wei were the first to arrive at my place; fionne was late cos she overslept(what's new?) and huimin was missing. This time, the hot topic was Uni orientation.. haha i'm quite thankful that I didn't go for the NTU hall camp with wei.. the mambo queen! hahaha! Can't imagine hui dancing too!! Super funny man..

As hui and wei were relating their first-time clubbing experiences, I felt kinda distanced; that I was the passive listener without anything to share. It was as if I was leaning in from a looking glass, seeing the foreign and the bizarre through their eyes. It scares me, my isolation... and I wonder how I am to cope in England where the clubbing scene is even more prevalent. Looking at the big picture, what disturbs me is how clubbing seems to be some rite of passage for young people once they reach a certain age, how the peer pressure is so very real and how it becomes such a great part of a young person's life. How it seems almost normal, because everyone is doing it and ostentasiously enjoying themselves.. But it's not normal!!! Everything is so pretentious there.. Just my personal opinion though.. Not sure whether I should go with fio and hui just to look see before I leave. Think I'll come out shocked and traumatised! Haha.. most prob won't go..

On a more light-hearted note, National Day was really fun! Glad I took li kai's advice and went to out to catch the NDP live (albeit only the fireworks) to soak in the atmosphere before leaving.. =) Went cycling at ECP with the easties after wei went home. East is best! Double-biked with fionne; her first time riding a bike! *Applause* Haha the guy at the bicycle shop kept giving us dubious looks and insisted that I try ride it myself before fionne came on behind.. and I'm glad we proved him wrong! hui said we were very steady riders! No accidents! Yay =) And guess who we met... Mr Harris! Haha! With his entire extended family..Made one big U-turn just to chat with him.. Hehh will go definitely go back to VJ to see him b4 i leave. Dinner was absolutely delectable. Pigged out on all the local delights at the east coast hawker centre. Hokkien mee, satay, oyster omelette, you tiao rojak and sugar cane juice!!! Yummy!!! Think I've been eating too healthy food; a little indulgence is good once in a while. =) Later rode back to the bicycle shop, enjoying the gentle sea breeze and pinkish golden sunset along the way.. I just LOVE east coast park. =) Thanks girls for a really pleasant National Day.. Didn't get to catch the fireworks though; was in the toilet when it started! Grr... Haha..

My Nottingham Uni tea party is today! Haha... booked my flight too; it's monday night, 18 Sep.

Love, carol

pictures! (^-^)

James the master chef!

Eugene and Li Kai. Just had to post this up cos I had such a hard time getting them to pose for pics! Haha!

Girls at Macs before watching tacky guy show: Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift.

Yong Qing in action!

The Alpha food team! =D

long update

Hello hello again! Prepare yourselves for a loooong entry of updates. =)

Some highlights... Saturday was our 1st Young Adults Alpha session! At the penthouse of Orchard Parksuites which was super nice and grand... ahhh =) The morning was a mad rush, cos I'm on the food team. Woke up at 7.15am (that's after getting home at 12+ the night b4... I'm really learning to stretch myself physically. hooray!), brisk-walked to Eunos MRT to pick up James, Yong Qing and Jeffrey, walked home to good old Joy Court and then the cooking began! Everyone was in a semi-comatose state but we just snapped out of it very quickly. Haha it was very fun and funny! Yong Qing the chicken and potato man especially was so hyper... wahhaha will never forget him dancing away while massaging the raw chicken with flour. Hilarious sia.. Shall post some tell-all pics! =) And it's great that we had James, the master chef to save the day... Cos none of us on the food team know how to cook! -_-" Yeahh.. am so proud of James.. my talented cousin using his culinary skills to serve God! Very happy that everyone said the food was very good! =) Next week's menu is pasta.. yummy.. Hmm friday was also exciting cos I got a late morning surprise!! Hahaha.. Li Kai and Eugene descending on my doorstep when I was still in my pyjamas! To discuss their travel plans.. hehh =) Fun! They're exciting people. Haha..

Had a good Sunday too, cos James had a personal encounter with God during worship! Yeah! =) I'm so happy and excited for him! He told me later that he'd never had so much joy before.. Haha I was very touched... Indeed investing your time in people is so much more fulfilling than investing them in material things- temporal and fleeting. And here's something which spoke to me during service too: The reason why you and I are still sitting here, living and breathing is because we haven't fulfilled God's plans for our lives. So, the inevitable question is, what is His plan for my life? I think I'm beginning to have a clearer picture of that... =) To be like streams of living water, refreshing other people.. Shall continue to seek God about it though. Do you know God's plan for your life?

Some updates bout painting too, since it is painting which has eaten up a large chunk of my time. The living room is finished! woohoo! Jus painted the hall entrance this morn, to the tune of my current fave song, Fascination from Take the Lead soundtrack playing on repeat mode. Hehh it's the only nice song in that CD.. and the one I listen to when I can't sleep at night. Over and over. =) Anyway, I felt so accomplished today, helping Daddy scrape walls and do patch-up work, besides painting. 1st time in my life I'm doing such things! Heh.. Also happy that I'm slowly beginning to get the hang of improvising on the piano.. =) Will watch the worship dvd that Janice has kindly lent me soon..

Wow it's National Day tmr.. Keep the flag flying! My last National Day in Singapore before I return 3 years later..

love, carol

ramblings

Wanted to post a funny poem titled "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" by Noel Coward here but the html was too garbled.. So use your imagination! Hehh.. =)

This week has been all about painting, painting, painting. Almost done though! And all that hard, manly work is well worth it-- the house is beginning to look nice! Can invite ppl for housewarming already... Hahaha

God loves a cheerful worker

Spoke to Mark, my bro-in-law last night for a long time about preparing to go to the UK, what to expect and the whole experience in general.. And really.. thank the Lord for him! I don't feel so lost and apprehensive anymore, knowing that he and so many others have gone before me to the UK. =)