exams over

Vincent had his last paper today, Commercial Law, which was better than expected. :) He was so worried about it.
Praise the Lord!

At the bus stop outside the University Park campus, waiting to catch the bus to town

At the fountain in Old Market Square. We took a picture here after our exams last year too! We were both in hats. Cowboy hat and jungle girl hat. :)

It was a glorious summer day when Mr Sun finally decided to make an appearance after days of rain and gloomy weather.
Many kids running around half naked playing with water! My siblings and I used to do that too, with water from the garden hose :D
We also had a small inflatable pool when my younger sis and I were toddlers. I love my childhood :)

Everybody was out enjoying the sun! People smile alot more when Mr Sun is out.

Oh we saw Burton (Dorothy Perkin's "brother" shop) doing a Mr Men series of T-shirts. Told Vincent to get "Mr Noisy" or "Mr Bump", because he chatters away all the time and gets into alot of accidents. Hehe

musings

unwillingly, i do all my serious thinking at night. which really sucks because in the day i am tired and have headaches and become the blur dreamy carol which most of u know.

yet i'm here at my computer while everyone is fast asleep at 3am, because i want to write this down. i've never been completely honest in my blog, because what i post is not limited to my family or close friends. the internet is a very public place and i don't want certain people, or people whom i don't know reading about my deepest thoughts and feelings.

having a blog is really different from having a diary because one tends to self-censor for fear that one's writings reach an unintended audience. as such, scrolling through the archives of my blog, you'll see mainly superficial, day to day posts. but i want to be more honest and go deeper.

anyway the profound insight that i've had about my own life is how i am so driven by fear of other peoples' judgments. as i was reflecting on the whole blogging issue, i realised that it's true of myself in real life too. in conversations with others, i am the listener. most of the time, i'm genuinely interested in what's going on in a person's life and i ask questions, i listen, i am concerned. and yet, i never ever seem to be able to open up to others about my struggles and fears. i am afraid of being judged. i hate to disappoint other people. alternatively, certain things are just too painful for me to bring up. alot of people think my life is perfect, or close to being so. i have a loving, well-to-d0 family, and a bright future as a lawyer ahead of me.

yet there are some painful experiences, like the crushing lows of my volleyball days or turbulent secondary 3-4 years fraught with cliques, petty fights, ostrasism, bad-mouthing, backstabbing, confrontations and heartbreak- which i have never mentioned to anyone. 5 years later, i still find it hard to tell even my boyfriend about this. how do i even begin?? i find it so hard to open up; so i bottle up my thoughts and emotions. why? i do so badly want to present to the world an image of being strong, smart and successful. yet i know this is all a front, that i suffer from lack of self-esteem, that i find it hard to fit in with my peers, that i am so fearful of what other people think of me.

there have been some breakthroughs though. i take comfort in the fact that God knows everything and that He loves me- something which i learnt in a powerful way during brighton's church camp in 2006. that's another story.

a more recent someone (other than my family) for whom i feel tremendously blessed is my boyfriend. between us, it has always been him loving me more than i love him. perhaps a 40-60 or even 30-70 balance? (i feel guilty about this sometimes.) knowing and constantly being assured, through his actions and words that he loves me so deeply, enables me to share with him openly without any fear of being judged. also, the fact that he knows nothing about my pre-notts self requires me to talk at length about my past. he's a great listener. :) talking to him has brought back alot of long-forgotten memories. like how, as a child, i loved to open the refrigerator and pop a precious lump of rock sugar into my mouth. :D i don't mind him calling me "sugar monster" and telling my friends that i'm a "sugar monster" though. haha

but i know he's not enough. so to all my close friends and family, i apologise for being emotionally distant and only talking about superficial things. i don't do it intentionally and i am still learning to speak up about things which affect me. i hope that this post has enabled you to connect more emotionally to me.

Motivation

Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.
- A note stuck on my noticeboard from Vincent


Just one more day to go..

Exam update

European Union law was HORRIBLE.
I've never sat for a paper which went so badly before.. :( I didn't sleep the entire night before because I just couldn't- too anxious and worried. Writing the 18 page legal research essay already left me exhausted. The paper itself was bad. Unexpected, took a different turn from all the previous years' exams.
It has completely killed off any interest in EU-related 3rd year modules. Like the European Convention of Human Rights. I'll stick to stuff I understand, however boring.

The trauma of EU has at least taught me a lesson- I've always managed to get away with last minute work. But it didn't work this time. Tough lesson, but one valued. What a waste, this year's academic performance started off so well for me. Next year, to make up for my dismal performance this semester, I will aim for all 1st class grades.

Criminal law went better than expected though, I was well-prepared. The only thing is that I didn't finish the last question!!!! SAD :( It's always a question of which to sacrifice- detail, or breadth. 45 minutes each for 4 essays is way too demanding. Oh, and last night, while revising, there was a sharp, acute pain in my right forearm that lasted throughout the night. Vincent quickly whipped out frozen sausages from the freezer, wrapped them in a towel and put them on my arm. Haha. He always knows what to do. Thankfully the pain was gone this morning..

Sorry these posts are so boring.. But I'm sure they'll be of interest to aspiring law students like my sister! Heheee :)

Next up: Land law. There is reasonable foresight (objective test), or shall I say virtual certainty (Woollin test) of it being a challenging exam. Grimace..

I can't believe that we'll never have to touch Criminal Law or EU law again... The brevity of it all! I actually did enjoy Criminal law alot, plus I have a really nice Greek tutor.

Can't wait for the exams to be over!!!

Summer catalogue

Summer #1 I support GAP clothes and accessories

Summer #2 Say hello to a Korean concubine with huge floral headgear.

Summer #3 Rachel, aged 5. A natural!

Summer #4 Tired look after Garden Party.

Perfect summer days

I sneakily took this shot through the trees because there were neighbours watching. This crazy angmoh was sprawled out on a public patch of grass for all the world to see, basking in the sun. Not an uncommon sight here I must say..

We attended Cat's garden party celebration. I love the comfy swings! :-)

Meet Ivy, a Taiwanese Master's student and Cat, the birthday girl. I like them both very much- Soft-spoken and gentle.
I found a new travel companion in Ivy :) I first met her during Pancake Day, again at Cat's house. we're going to somewhere in the UK after the exams. Maybe the Lake District?
Cat is the most thoughtful person I know here; she's always trying to involve me in things by inviting me over or asking me out. Really blessed to know her!

I'm here with Yolanda, from Hong Kong. She's really fun and outgoing! She loves chocolate and travelling too! We were roommates during New Word Alive in Wales. Together we braved the freezing nights wrapped up in our down jackets.. haha. Too bad she's an exchange student who's going back soon. Oh yes, she reminds me alot of Maumau... hehe

Right, EU Law exam on Tuesday, Criminal Law on Thursday... Please pray for me ok! It'll be over in 2 weeks time!!!!!!!

Down

I was feeling extremely discouraged about my Legal Research Essay just now, because I cannot seem to focus and compile all my research into an essay. The essay is about the rules of intoxication in Criminal Law and the deadline is on Tuesday, 6 may. I keep getting distracted whenever I'm stuck- end up doing other things which make me even more tired. It's a mental block of fear and "I can't"; which has been building up since the Easter holidays when I was trying to get the essay done.

But I'm feeling alot better now- After Vincent gave me a head and neck massage, made me hot cholocate and is now going to make me a nutella sandwich. Most importantly, I asked him to pray for me and then I prayed myself too. :) I asked God to take away the mental obstacles that I faced and that I am giving Him my fear and worries. Also that the results are in His hands, I will just do what needs to be done. Reminded myself of this truth which Cheh used to write in her encouragement cards to me over the years "For God has not given me a spririt of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-control". I pinned it up on my noticeboard and put it up on my blog; partly because I was reading about how publicly performed behaviour influences and validates self-conception in my Psychology text. And of course, as a reminder of God's truth!

Also on my noticeboard is a poem from Daddy dated 31 October 1999- The last stanza reads

"Look down when up
And up when down
The one and only
He is up, There".

Springtime

Cherry blossoms and daffodils near Hallward Library

Cherry blossoms in Broadgate Park, where I stay. :)

I only thought cherry blossoms could be found in Japan, but I am so wrong! There are sooo many cherry blossom trees here; there's even a place called Cherry Tree Hill on my campus. I love cherry blossoms; their ephemeral quality gives them a fragile, fleeting beauty.

Ok back to the books.....

continuation from the last post

Being on the redbubble homepage twice has generated 976 views, 124 comments and 86 favouritings. To see the special photo, click here: http://www.redbubble.com/people/jebus/art/1052062-1-mother-and-child

Anyway, I received another internship offer from Allen & Gledhill! I'll be interning in the corporate department from 11 Aug- 29 Aug. As for WongPartnership, I'll be an intern there in July. So, 5 weeks of internship in 2 top firms!! :) Looks like I can afford to buy a new camera already.. Probably a Fujifilm one that will help my shaky hands. And start taking lessons from the pro!

Alright, 2 weeks to the exams!!
Focus!

cute kitten

Congratulations to Vincent! Another photo that he took of this adorable newborn kitten is featured on the homepage of www.redbubble.com.
Do check it out!
It'll make a perfect mothers' day card/poster. :)

brighten my day

Recently, I've been baking alot. Perhaps to dispel some pre-exam stress?
Above: cornflakes, walnut and oat cookies. Below: Vincent's 2nd attempt at making a heart-shaped cookie. :)

Anyway, the exams are in 3 weeks time.

13 May: European Union Law

16 May: Criminal Law

22 May: Land Law

24 May: Individual in Society (Psychology)

Please keep me and Vincent in prayer! :) Thank you.

We went to the city centre today to indulge; it'll probably be the last time until the exams are over.
Ate dimsum at Manho to make me happy.. hehe and then it was shopping time! I can't comprehend why there's a GAP sale everytime we go to the city. They just want to make me spend money!!! I bought a navy blue hoodie and a formal white shirt for internship. I especially LOVE the hoodie!!!! It's so soft and the colour is so nice. :) The Body Shop was having a sale too and I got 6 GBP off my purchases. Then we headed down to M&S for grocery shopping.. Really, M&S food is exceptional. Bought Aberdeen & Angus beef mince, among others, for the shepherd's pie tonight which turned out very well, thanks to Peach. And a colourful striped mug and plate (also on sale) from Whittard. So that was major retail theraphy to keep me going!

Reflections

Initially, I wasn't looking forward to going to New Word Alive at all. But I'm soooo glad I did... :)

There were so many wonderful things about the conference that I really don't know where to begin.

1. Teaching
Renowned speakers such as John Piper, Terry Virgo and Don Carson preached at the conference. It was really solid, mind-engaging teaching. Some of the topics were controversial, such as suffering, but the speakers really helped to clarify issues and best of all, based everything they taught on a careful study of the Bible. It was just sooooooo good. The Bible Overview series every morning was excellent too; really helpful.

2. Location
Beautiful, scenic place surrounded by the mountains of Snowdonia.. It was a very relaxing break. :)

3. People
-God has really blessed me through my caravan mates.
-Cat did a great job in organising the trip for international students from Nottingham; we didn't have to worry about accomodation, food or admin matters at all. Whereas the Singaporean students from London had to arrange those things themselves, which was a real hassle!
-Also, the presence of 4000 Christians at the conference was very encouraging to me, that there were so many others of the same faith, trying to live a godly life. Previously I'd been feeling very alone and defeated, due to various reasons such as lack of Christian peers, pressure from school, lapse in spending time with God, very worldly surroundings and mindsets etc.. But now I feel free to delight in God's word and worship again. Also, I've started reading this book "Glory Days" which Vincent bought for me at the bookstore there and it helped to change my perspective! :)

New Word Alive 2008

More than a conqueror in Christ!

Ever the thrill seeker, he go-karted twice in a row!!! Haha he was sooo high after that.

Caravan-mates (minus Yolanda). From left: me, Vincent, Liz, Chye Fong and Cat. Vincent, as always, is with the girls, even though he was supposed to be in the boys' caravan! But I'm glad he joined me though. It was really a blessing to be able to stay and interact with such a group of sincere, caring and matured Christians. We had a very good time together and I learned alot from them too. :)

Caravan 59, Snowdonia View!

Snowdonia

Pwhelli, Wales


I was so excited to see the sea after 6 months! It was just a 2 minute walk from the conference site.

The amazing multi-coloured pebbles that filled an entire beach! Vincent and I had a very good time hunting for the most special pebbles to bring home.

Low tide. The sun finally came out! It rained intermittently all week in Wales.

Midway point on the trek to the farthest stretch of sea cliffs. We went there 3 days in a row!

I'm back from New Word Alive!

It was excellent!!!! :)

Getaway

We're going to Wales tomorrow for New Word Alive. There's a couple from church who'll be driving us there!

Anyway, the conference is from 7-11 April, in Hafan y Mor Holiday Park, Pwllheli, North Wales. Accomodation will be in caravans :)

I'm really excited! It'll be a nice refreshing change to get out of Nottingham. Smell the fresh air, go for walks on the hills, watch sheep etc.

Will be taking my Psychology and Criminal Law books though..

My revision process is plagued by inertia. Have started but just can't focus! So slow; where is my sense of urgency...

The relevance of Psychology

Finally, something I'm learning seems to be immediately applicable and impactful on my daily life.

I'm revising for my Psychology module and I found this topic on Nature VS Nature useful and illuminating. Excerpts from "The Psychology of Childhood" are summarised below.

With regard to the role of nurture in particular (since we can't change our genetically endowed intelligence), researchers have asked whether an enriched environment gives rise to higher IQ.

Diet and nutrition
Benton & Roberts have found that giving vitamin supplementation increases the IQ of the recipient children dramatically. However, their provocative findings were not replicated in another study. Benton explained the discrepancies in the findings by suggesting that additional vitamins will be redundant in improving a child's IQ score if the child's diet is adequate
in terms of vitamin content. In contrast, if the child has a vitamin deficient diet, this could prevent her brain from operating to its full potential.

The lesson to be learnt is that a healthy diet is vital to mental functioning.
An inadequate diet puts one at a distinct disadvantage!

After reading this, I went oh my goodness, I'd better put in more effort at eating a healthy and balanced diet! More fruits and veggies, as well as a faithful daily consumption of the cocktail of vitamins Mum has entrusted me with: DHA, Chorella, Wheatgrass, Vitamin C etc etc etc. Better force Vincent to take his vitamins too!

Social and psychological factors
According to Elardo et al, factors which they believe to contribute to an enriched environment are as follows:
1) Mother's voice conveys positive feeling when speaking to child.
2) Mother structures child's play periods.
3) Mother reads stories at least 3 times weekly
4) Age-appropriate learning equipment is provided for child.
5) Child gets out of house at least 4 times a week.
etc

This would be so relevant for Cheh. :)

After reading this I told that I cannot be cooped up in my room all day anymore! Must go out to breathe in the fresh air, admire the daffodils etc.

I'm feeling quite proud of myself today cos I exercised: skipping, crunches and weights. ;)

Ok I'm going off to cut an orange.

It's the first day of a new month.. April!

Time to get serious and work hard! FOCUS

All the best everyone who has exams and coursework deadlines coming up!

Thanks for all the encouragement dear friends :)

We can do it!

new hairstyle

At Cafe Uno, which had a very cosy Italian atmosphere. Unfortunately the food was disappointing so we adjourned to Pitcher & Piano for the delicious brownie and chocolate cocktail! :)

I like my hair now- it's alot thinner and lighter... Haha. This shot is for Mummy who wants to see my new hairstyle!

Anyway, Spring is beautiful but I haven't really got the chance to truly enjoy it yet. I'm really worried about the upcoming exams, in a month and a half's time. Also I've got this 18 page legal research essay about criminal law which is giving me a BIG headache. I spent about a week just contemplating its structure. And I've got a week left to write it. Terribly worried to the point that I'm not sleeping well at night. :( Please send me your support!!

Flat 14/14, Redwoods

Finally, some photos of my room! I'll be staying here again next year :)